


your heart is all i own

by colourmeblue



Series: you're the light (i want you close) [3]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-26
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-10-10 18:58:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10445037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colourmeblue/pseuds/colourmeblue
Summary: It’s not the first time Maggie Sawyer is sure that she’s in love with Alex Danvers, and it certainly won’t be the last.(or, missing moments from 2x13 to 2x15)





	

 

It’s quiet between them for a long moment after Maggie asks to dance, the only sounds coming from the song playing softly in the background. Maggie’s realised she’s never felt more at peace than when Alex’s forehead is pressed against hers. She just wants to be close to her for as long as humanly possible. Somehow, the majority of her problems melt away in her presence, and it just the two of them, swaying back and forth.

Honestly, Maggie still can’t believe that she’s spending a _happy_ Valentine’s Day with a girlfriend who actually cares about her. She almost can’t believe how much things have changed since she met Alex only a few short months ago.

“You’re beautiful.” Her voice is barely audible as she concentrates on the movement of her feet. If she’s being honest, she’s not even sure how one person can look so stunning. When she picked out the dress, she definitely didn’t expect her to look that good. It certainly knocks the breath out of her a little, especially knowing that it’s just her and Alex here. Nobody else.

Alex smiles. “You said that already.” She pauses for a moment, before continuing. “You have good taste.”

Maggie laughs quietly. “I was talking about _you_. The whole package. Not just the dress.” Her smile only grows. “But, you’re right. I do have good taste.”

Alex smile turns into a quiet laugh, and it’s music to Maggie’s ears. She knows there’s nothing better than making Alex smile or laugh. Just making her happy is enough to make Maggie happy. That’s how she knows this is something real and something serious.

“Thank you… for all of this. And I want to apologise too, because I shouldn’t have ignored what you said, and from now on, I won’t.” Alex shakes her head, and Maggie believes her just from the look in her eyes.

Maggie draws her in closer, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek as her arms slide further around her waist. “At least we’re getting better at the communication thing, right?”

Alex laughs quietly, her arms adjusting as Maggie brings her in close. “I guess so.” She pauses for a moment, and Maggie can tell there’s still something on her mind. “Speaking of communication… if it’s okay with you… I want to talk about this. About your past. I don’t want to just sweep it under the rug. I want you to feel like you can talk to me about anything.”

Maggie stops for a moment, because it’s really the first time anyone has bothered offering to talk about it. Most of her past girlfriends were too busy dealing with their own issues to care much about what happened to her years ago. In the past, she’s tried to be single on Valentine’s Day just to avoid the hassle, but she’s been dating Alex for a couple of months now, and knows she can trust her. She knows she can talk to her about anything, when she’s ready.

“If you want to,” Alex adds quickly. “I’d never force you to, and it won’t change anything if you don’t want to.”

“Alex.” Maggie chuckles. “Relax. We can talk about it, but let’s just… enjoy tonight while we’re here, okay? It’s… a lot to get into all at once.”

Alex lets out a low hum in agreement, leaning in so she can kiss Maggie slowly. It blows Maggie’s mind just how simple everything is with them. There’s no tricks or mind games that she’d been used to with other relationships. It’s pure and whole, and she knows it’s the kind of thing she’s been looking for her entire life. When she was fourteen, she was scared that she would never find someone who would feel the same way, flaws and all. It’s still difficult to come to terms with, but Alex is the most genuine person she knows, so being with her is easy.

“I did see champagne over there,” Alex murmurs, and Maggie is pulled out of her thoughts by a small smirk. “So don’t hold out on me.”

“I knew that’s the real reason you came.” Their dancing has turned into more of a sway now, because Maggie is focusing all of her attention on keeping Alex close. “I figured scotch wouldn’t be the most romantic thing to serve on Valentine’s Day.”

“You know it doesn’t matter to me either way. I’m just happy to be here with you.”

Maggie smiles brightly. Despite the fact that she was nervous about tonight (even debating with herself whether Alex would show up at all), she’s glad that she’s able to make her comfortable so effortlessly. Alex doesn’t hold her anger or disdain towards the holiday against her, which is _definitely_ something her exes would’ve done.

(She really needs to stop comparing Alex to her exes, because she’s made it very clear that she’s above them all.)

Maggie then pulls away from Alex suddenly, and takes a hold of her hand instead. Alex looks intrigued until it’s clear that Maggie is leading her back over towards the table. Maggie walks backwards as she does, because she wants to see as much of Alex in that dress as she possibly can.

They spend the rest of the night sipping champagne and feeding each other chocolate-covered strawberries (which, Maggie decides was a really good idea after all). Alex, on the other hand, decides that she _really_ enjoys dancing, and they go back out to sway on an empty floor to another soft song in the background. There’s something incredibly intimate about it, and Maggie is consistently blown away by the way Alex is able to make her feel by doing something so simple.

It’s not the first time Maggie Sawyer is sure that she’s in love with Alex Danvers, and it certainly won’t be the last.

\------

They decide to open a bottle of scotch when they get back to Alex’s apartment, after realising that the champagne really wasn’t enough for them. Maggie had discarded most of her clothes as soon as she walked in the door, and is now sitting in a pair of boxers and a tank top. It had been Alex’s smart idea for Maggie to start leaving spare clothes at her place for whenever she may need them, even if Maggie is more than content just to wear Alex’s.

Maggie likes it, because it almost feels like they live together. Like they own something together. Like she’s more than just a small puzzle piece in Alex’s world. It makes her feel like Alex is really invested in them. The more invested she is, the less likely she is to want to leave.

(As soon as the insecurities bubble up, Alex is able to get rid of them with just a smile in Maggie’s direction.)

At this point, they’re both sprawled out on the couch, sipping the scotch from their glasses. There’s also a tub of ice cream on the coffee table, because clearly, Valentine’s Day dinner should only consist of strawberries and ice cream.

At first, Maggie isn’t even going to bring it up. At least not tonight. Not even for another week, if she could help it. But the alcohol in her system is making her brave, and she feels like she could tell Alex her deepest, darkest fears. Something she’s never told anyone before. However, she can save that for a later date. Instead, she’ll talk about what Alex wants to hear.

“It’s weird, I can… remember the fight I had with my parents. Word for word.” Maggie chuckles, looking down into her glass. It’s a bitter memory, one which she tends to repress every time she gets into a new relationship. Yet, somehow Alex can bring things to the surface that nobody else has been able to. She can feel Alex’s eyes on her as she continues. “My dad was _so stuck_ in his small town ways. My mom wasn’t as bad but she still… chose his side over mine. He just told me to get out, and that was it. I lost my family that day and… I always tell myself I'm fine. Until it's brought up again, that is.”

Alex reaches over and takes Maggie’s hand in hers. Maggie shuffles over closer to her girlfriend, resting her head on her shoulder. It’s a comfort just to be near her, and she . “Maggie… the fact that you protected me when you didn’t need to… that’s not something people do for me. Unless you count my sister flying around in a cape, you’re the first. You’re a good person, and you’ve definitely proven yourself to be better than your parents will ever be. I don’t want you to ever feel like you’re attached to them in any way, because you don’t have to be.” She stops, and Maggie looks up at her.

She’s not sure if it’s the alcohol or something else, but Maggie _is_ sure that feeling this much at one time has to be dangerous. What Alex can make her feel terrifies her. It almost has her shrinking away into her hole of isolation, never to open up again. _Almost_.

Alex reaches over, her thumb lightly brushing Maggie’s jawline. “If you’d like a family, there’s one right here for you. Even if it’s just me. I’m here. And I would never ask you to be anything except you.”

Maggie tries to fight back the smile, but fails. “You want to be my family, Danvers?”

“Mhm.” Alex gives her a gentle smile. “Family is the most important thing to me, and you already exist in that category.”

Maggie closes the gap between them slowly, her lips only lightly brushing against Alex’s. “Thank you,” she murmurs, kissing Alex as gently as she possibly can. When she pulls away, the look in Alex’s eyes is definitely suggestive, and it reminds Maggie of what she walked in on the other night. “And thank you for the other night. I know I was mad, but… I appreciate you going to all that trouble just for me.”

A slow smirk forms on Alex’s face, and Maggie should’ve realised she wouldn’t miss the insinuation. “You just want me to put on lingerie again for you.”

Maggie chuckles. “Well, _that_ goes without saying.”

“If you’re lucky…” Alex murmurs, leaning in to kiss her again. The kiss is soft, but gradually grows heated. It’s only a minute or two before Maggie finds herself completely on top of her. She knows it’s probably the alcohol once again, but Alex is very enthusiastic with her movements, and Maggie’s tank top is already halfway across the room before she can even catch her breath.

“Now I’m _really_ sorry I messed up your plans the other night,” Maggie breathes, a dimpled grin taking over her face.

“I’ll forgive you if you stop talking.”

Maggie raises an eyebrow, letting out a breathless chuckle as she looks down at her. She knows this woman is never going to stop surprising her. “If you say so, Agent Danvers.” She only gets to look at her for a moment longer before Alex is dragging her back down to kiss her again.

It _is_ their belated Valentine’s Day, after all, and she has a whole evening to make up for.

\------

When she goes over to Alex’s apartment the next week, she doesn’t expect to find her girlfriend anxious. Alex has made her dinner, which isn’t uncharacteristic, but still rare, considering her schedule barely allows for such things. If she’s being honest, Maggie knows something’s wrong the moment she walks in the door. Alex seems flustered, and it takes Maggie stopping her and grabbing her wrist to get it out of her.

“I want you to meet my dad.”

Seven words and it causes Maggie to need to sit down. Alex hands her a beer before she even touches the chair. Clearly, she’s prepared for every scenario.

“Before you say anything, just hear me out.” Alex says, raising both her hands and sitting down in front of Maggie. “I am completely aware of your dad. And I won't be upset if you say no, I promise. It's just… we’re having this family dinner to welcome him home, and I just don't think it would feel complete without you there.”

Maggie pauses for a moment. She wants to say yes. More than anything. She wants to be the girlfriend that parents love. She wants to be the one who can impress fathers and not run from them. Unfortunately, it’s a lot harder than it looks. Especially when you’re the daughter’s _girlfriend_. “Does your dad know? About you?”

Alex bites her lip. “Not yet. There hasn’t been a good time to just sit him down. I thought it might… work better if I just introduced you right off the bat.”

Maggie let's out a slow breath, running a hand through her hair. It's not that she has a problem with fathers in general, but she's worried that Jeremiah won't like her. If Jeremiah doesn't like her, then what does that mean for her and Alex? Alex’s dad means the world to her, and in his eyes, she could just be the woman ‘corrupting’ his daughter. (She's heard _that one_ many times before.)

But, at the same time, this is Alex. A relationship that may potentially last longer than any she's ever had. This is the woman she's falling in love with. If not _already_ fallen in love with. Not to mention, it's a special case. Her father has been gone for fifteen years, and barely even knows Alex anymore. Just because she has a disconnect with her own family, doesn’t mean Alex should with hers.

Alex reaches over, placing a hand on Maggie’s knee. “You don't have to. It was just an idea. I don't want you to feel pressured.”

Maggie finally looks up at Alex, her lips tilting upwards in a soft smile. “If you really want me to, then I will.” She figures that the nerves she feels are a small price to pay to make Alex happy.

“Are you sure?”

Maggie nods. “Definitely.” Leaning over, she presses a quick kiss to Alex’s cheek.

Alex frowns sympathetically. “You seem nervous.”

Maggie chuckles. “Yeah, well… I am. I kind of have a... knee-jerk reaction when someone mentions their dad.” She shrugs, not wanting to make a big deal out of it. She’s not a child anymore, and if she wants this relationship with Alex to be serious, then she’s definitely going to have to meet her father at some point. She’s already met Eliza, so she’s hoping it’ll be a little easier on her. Might as well rip off the band-aid at the easiest possible time.

Alex shuffles closer to her, looking into Maggie’s eyes. “If it makes you feel any better, I think he’s gonna adore you.” A smile grows on her face. “Not as much as I do, but still.”

Maggie’s smile mirrors Alex’s, and she places her hand over the one that’s currently resting on her leg. She wants Alex to know that this a one hundred percent voluntary decision. Even if she has heard horror stories about past Danvers family dinners. (Like _she_ could ever be pressured into _anything_ to begin with.)

“He’s been through a lot with Cadmus. I think my sexuality will be pretty low on his list of things to worry about.” Alex tilts her head with a gentle smile. “And if it goes badly, we can just leave and grab a pizza or something.”

Although she doesn’t think it will come to that, Maggie does find the idea appealing. “I’ll hold you to that, Danvers.”

“Good, then it’s settled.” Just seeing the happiness on Alex’s face is enough for Maggie to know she’s made the right decision. “Now, come on. I cooked and there’s absolutely no way I’m letting it go to waste.”

\------

Maggie has never seen Alex like this before.

She thinks back to the first time they met, and how Alex was in complete control of the situation. She’d never come across someone who was so hard headed, and yet she had instant chemistry with at the same time. Ever since Maggie met her, Alex has been a pillar of strength for not only herself but her sister and others around her. Now, she’s a sobbing mess in her arms because of her father, and Maggie doesn’t even know what’s happened yet. Somehow, despite being unfamiliar with Alex when she’s like this, Maggie knows what to do immediately.

She coaxes Alex off the chair, and is eventually able to get her to the couch. Alex collapses in her arms almost immediately, curling into her body and clutching her shirt like a child. Maggie stays perfectly still, apart from kissing her head gently and rubbing her arms with her hands.

“I can’t believe this… I’m _so stupid._ ” Alex can barely choke the words out as she turns her head, burying it further in Maggie’s chest.

“Stop, you’re not stupid.” Maggie shakes her head. She can only assume that everyone else had been right and Alex had been wrong about Jeremiah. It makes her furious that her own father took advantage of her trust like that, but she knows now isn’t the time to be angry. “He’s your family. It’s natural for you to want to take his side.”

“He’s still working for Cadmus, Maggie. And I just… I let him go.”

Maggie perks up slightly at the last part. Alex admitting weakness shows Maggie that she must’ve really taken it hard. She tightens her arms around her girlfriend comfortingly, hoping that just her presence will be enough.

“I was so naive. I should’ve listened to Kara, but I didn’t. The way I _spoke_ to her was just… I was horrible, Maggie. She’s my sister and I treated her like she was nothing.”

Maggie smiles gently, reaching up to stroke Alex’s hair. “Listen, if anyone’s going to understand, it’s going to be Kara. She’s the last person in the world who would ever blame you for this.” She doesn’t know Kara as well as Alex does, but it’s quite apparent that Alex is the most important person in the world to Kara. She would quite literally move mountains for her. Maggie only _wishes_ that she had a family connection like that.

Alex sighs, and Maggie knows that usually means she’s right. “I just… I don’t know what to do now. I’ve been searching for months and now… I don’t know.”

“We find him. That’s what we do. We get him out from under Cadmus’s thumb and we get some answers.” Maggie nods. “I’ll use NCPD resources. I can help you.”

Alex lifts her head to look at Maggie. Her eyes are red and watery, and it breaks Maggie’s heart to know that her family has done this to her. She knows exactly what that feels like, and she wouldn’t wish it on anyone. To Maggie’s surprise, Alex lets out a light laugh. “What did I do to get you?”

Maggie’s lips tilt upwards in a half smile. “Well, you accosted me at a crime scene, and the rest is history.”

Alex is still smiling. “I don’t deserve you.”

“You deserve everything.”

Alex doesn’t say anything in response. She only smiles before burying herself back into Maggie’s body and letting out a deep breath. Looking back over towards the open bottle on the counter, Maggie sighs. She doesn’t want to think about the state Alex would be in if she hadn’t shown up. If she didn’t _have_ anyone to show up. She doesn’t want Alex to ever feel alone again, and she knows that’s exactly what it means to be in love.

Alex falls asleep curled up against Maggie. Maggie’s sure she’s never felt more at home.

\------

Maggie is sure she’s never been as terrified in her life as she is when she sees Alex in the alleyway behind the alien bar.

It takes a moment for everyone to simmer down after the van pulls away with Lyra. Maggie’s heart is pounding in her ears and she can feel her entire body buzzing with adrenaline. It isn’t just the fight inside that has her amped up either, but seeing a defenceless Alex with a gun pointed at her right in front of her eyes. It’s something she knows she should expect by now, the both of them being in the jobs that they are. Hell, it’s something she had warned Alex about weeks ago.

However, it still doesn’t prepare her for the feeling of her heart dropping into her gut. Her job and all of her training doesn’t prepare for when it’s a loved one in that situation. It’s never really happened to Maggie before, and the fact that she doesn’t know how to handle it makes her feel even more panicked. She’s not going to let her fear be the reason somebody gets killed.

It’s only silent for a brief moment before Maggie drops Winn’s arm, and looks towards Alex and where Guardian (who has now vanished into thin air) was once standing. Alex turns towards her, and they look they share is more than enough incentive for Maggie.

“Alex. Hey.” Maggie tries, but her voice is still slightly shaky from the ordeal. It only takes her a second to close the gap between them, wrapping her arms around Alex for a tight hug.

Sure, there’s a good chance she probably wouldn’t have been killed in that moment (at worst, maybe she would have been taken back to Cadmus), but that doesn’t calm Maggie’s nerves whatsoever. She knows that she’s been trained to be calm in situations like this, but it’s a lot worse when it’s someone you love on the line. She would never forgive herself if something happened to Alex, especially not on her watch.

“I’m sorry.” The apology is mostly because she knows she’s acting ridiculous. She knows she doesn’t need to be upset over this. That Alex is in situations like these every other day and it usually works out for the best. However, the apology is also for the hesitation. The fact that she wasn’t able to make the shot without the fear of hitting Alex in the process.

“Don’t be.” Alex murmurs, and Maggie finds she’s holding on to her just as tight. “Hey, I’m good, okay? I’m good.”

“Good.” Maggie breathes out. “You just scared me, that’s all.”

When Maggie pulls back, she notices that Alex is smiling. Alex reaches up, tucking Maggie’s hair behind her ear. There’s something about being in her arms that feels so safe, and Maggie hasn’t even felt the need to _feel_ safe before. Putting herself on the line for her job is just second nature to her. Safe just isn’t in her job description, yet somehow, Alex makes up for it.

“I didn’t want to take the shot and risk hurting you.”

Maggie sees Alex’s smile grow. “I know. Don’t worry.” Alex’s thumb brushes lightly against Maggie’s cheek, and Maggie remembers when she told her she wasn’t big on intimacy. Now, it’s like she’s looking at an entirely different person. Despite being the one worried for Alex’s safety, she’s also glad that she’s able to evoke something within Alex, too. “Trust me, I know you.”

Maggie chuckles, shaking her head. “You do, Danvers. You do.” Better than anyone else, that’s for sure.

“Come on,” Alex says, reaching for Maggie’s hand. “We should get to the DEO. It’ll be all hands on deck until we find these aliens.”

Maggie lets out a breath, realising now really isn’t the time to be dwelling on something that didn’t end up happening. She’s just glad she won’t have to let Alex out of her sight anytime soon.

\------

‘Anytime soon’ comes a lot quicker than Maggie thought it would.

She really should’ve expected it, but she naively hopes that her wishing Alex won’t get herself into any trouble would actually work. For once. Instead, she gets to hear about her girlfriend almost being launched across the universe in a Cadmus spacecraft, never to be seen again. Honestly, she’d find it utterly ridiculous if she didn’t work in the field that she did.

Once she arrives at the DEO, Winn and J’onn fill her in as they wait for Supergirl to safely land the spaceship. At first, she almost doesn’t believe it, but then she remembers that Alex’s sister is an alien superhero who fights crime, and it suddenly seems a lot more plausible.

When she first sees Alex walk through the door, she crosses her arms over her chest. She’s had some time to calm herself down, and she can’t help the smile that appears on her face when the relief floods through her. To think she had come this close to losing her _again_ (the second time in just a week) is too stressful for her to think about right now. The only thing that keeps her grounded is knowing that Alex is here and she’s okay.

When Alex approaches her, Maggie expects some sort of attempt at humour to try and downplay the importance of the situation. However, it doesn’t come. Instead, she wraps her arms around Maggie’s shoulders, hugging her tightly.

“I’m sorry.” Her voice is muffled as she buries her face into Maggie’s shoulder. Maggie really doesn’t know why she’s apologising when she just helped saved an entire ship of aliens, but she’ll take it if it makes her feel better. “I saw the look on your face when I walked in. I know you worry. I get that intentionally throwing myself into danger doesn’t help.”

When Alex pulls away, Maggie places a hand on her cheek. She can almost feel the adrenaline radiating off of Alex’s body, and she can tell that something happened up there that she can’t quite understand. In hindsight, she probably shouldn’t have let Alex infiltrate a Cadmus facility without any kind of back up, but she’s _really_ glad that Supergirl happens to also be a Danvers sibling. Not only that, but she’s surprised that Alex is finally acknowledging that she means something to Maggie. That either one of them losing the other just isn’t an option.

“You’re going to kill me one day, Danvers. I mean that.” Honestly, it’s probably not the worst way to go, if Maggie thinks about it. The last thing she wants to do is fuss over Alex, so she’ll just be content with the fact that she’s safe for another night.

“I’m sorry.” This apology is much warmer than the last as Alex leans forward, pressing a soft kiss to Maggie’s forehead. It’s a simple gesture, but it has Maggie gripping the sleeve of Alex’s jacket tightly, unwilling to let go. She can’t help it. She worries. Which still remains a feeling that she’s not used to. Now she knows how her ex-girlfriends used to feel when she’d go out into the field.

“Well… you risking your life for aliens… it’s kind of a turn on.” Maggie raises an eyebrow, remembering back to when she first met her, and how wary she was of aliens.

A wide grin breaks out on Alex’s face, all the tension immediately disappearing. “Is that right?”

“I’m glad to know I rubbed off on you.” Maggie teases. “I don’t know what I would do if you just saw me as a pretty face.”

A fond smile takes over Alex’s face. “You make me a better person every day, Maggie Sawyer. That much I can promise you.”

Maggie returns her smile with an equal amount of affection. To be with someone and also be making a positive impact on their life is all Maggie wants to be as a girlfriend. Somehow, her relationship with Alex is everything she could’ve possibly wanted and more, even Maggie even trying to make it that way. There’s a natural connection there, and it would’ve been there even if they met back when Maggie was fourteen and fresh out of the closet. There’s something special about Alex Danvers that she’s glad to have found at this point in her life.

Maggie leans forward, capturing Alex’s lips in a firm kiss. PDA at the DEO isn’t exactly encouraged by J’onn, but Maggie thinks he’ll make an exception this time.

“Let’s just… both promise to be more careful, okay?” Maggie raises both eyebrows this time, tilting her head to look at Alex. Her thumb brushes lightly along her jawline. “I’m not ready to lose you just yet.”

“Deal.” Alex’s voice is like honey when she speaks to Maggie, which is a stark contrast to the intimidating tone she can adopt when she’s at work. “I promise.”

Maggie gives her a gentle nod, finally accepting her words. She knows there’s no way to stop either of them from worrying about the other, it’s just going to be a part of their everyday lives as long as they’re together. That being said, Maggie knows just how capable Alex is, and who she has looking out for her, so it could really be a lot worse.

If there’s one good thing that’s come out of this, it’s that Maggie knows she’s undeniably in love with the woman standing in front of her, and not a single thing could make her turn back now.


End file.
